FAQ

Do you feel like you’ve been put in a new position with no job description? Are you overwhelmed by the tasks involved with being a step-parent, comforting your biological children, finding natural ways for the step-siblings to bond, dealing with a jealous ex-spouse, entertaining new in-laws, combining parenting styles and focusing on your new marriage? Do you fear failure?

Do you dislike your step-child? Does your step-child scream, beg, act out, and whine? Furthermore, does your partner overprotect and indulge this child? Do you worry your step-child will influence or annoy your biological children? Is an ex-spouse manipulative? Does the ex sabotage the children and make the transition more difficult? Does he/she come over unexpectedly or call excessively? Do you resent the money that goes out to the ex? Blending a family is a process.

On average, it takes three to five years to merge as a family unit, especially when the family includes teens. Each stage of blending creates tension. However, each stage also provides an opportunity for growth and unity.

60 percent of all blended families will divorce within 5 ½ years. The good news is that the couples that stay together past this mark, have greater success than other couples because they have learned successful coping skills to strengthen their remarriage.

There is no job description for stepparents or stepfamilies. However, there are strategies and attitudes that will help you avoid and eliminate potential problems and find success for your unique blending family.

It is more than natural, not to develop and immediate bond with your stepchildren. Children will often act out and displace anger on you as a stepparent. This is part of the process. The number one strategy is to put your relationship with your spouse first, present as a unified partnership and work on your emotional and physical intimacy. Children will learn how to respect your new relationship and understand that that they can’t manipulate either one of you during this transition process. This is the key to a healthy remarriage and well adjusted stepchildren.